12th January 2019 at 4:30 pm #1000Nikki PepperKeymaster
I have been a fan of Brene Brown for a few years now and I’ve heard and read her tell this story a few times…
When people share information and stories about themselves, marbles are added to their trust jar. The more stories that are shared over time, and deeper those stories may be, that marble jar fills up and up… as does the trust… Hopefully we all know what that feels like? To have people around us that we really trust?
I know through attending Link4Growth events regularly, I am meeting new people all the time and being able to catch up with friends I had met previously. I see others who have developed great friendships and I know there are always plenty of ‘full marble jars in the room’. When you have a space where people typically ‘go to give’, there aren’t many who would cause marbles to be taken away.
We’re all responsible for helping to fill other peoples marble jars, helping those around us know that we can be trusted with their stories.
Imagine how different the world might be if more people trusted each other?19th January 2019 at 3:46 pm #1021Chris OgleKeymaster
It is a really interesting question Trust. I used to think of trust as something that you could give and get and in a similar way to the jar of marbles but I am slowly changing that view.
I think the seeds were sown for change when I heard the story that if you treat someone badly then you are likely to get that person behaving according to your expectations.. i.e. badly… if you treat them well even if they deserve in their own eyes not to be respected or treated well (because of what they have done) then… yes… they might still end up being untrustworthy… but that would have been the outcome (100%) anyway if we didn’t give them any trust. If however we trust them and they rise to the challenge then what?
Sometimes people just need to be given the chance… an opportunity to upgrade themselves… to not be judged as a bad untrustworthy person… but it requires us to know, that this person is likely to ‘not be trustworthy’ for sometime until something shifts in them.
The lesson keeps coming back until we have learned it I believe… and people will stay untrustworthy until they work out what the behaviours are for trustworthiness … and learn why trusting and being trusted are so important.
I have written a blog post for Link4Growth about my experience of the Link4Growth community networking, all the time we are at these events we are working on this Marble Jar concept… honing our skills and growing trust.
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